How do we speak in the past tense about a person who has always been present in our lives? How do we eulogize one who has always been so full of life, even in old age, on a sick bed, and with little mobility? How do we pay a fitting tribute to such a monumental figure, our grandmother Ayo?
These are questions we wish we never had to answer, but here we are today. We know that no words are enough to measure up to the woman she was, but we can only try, and hope that by this tribute, we will be able to share a bit of the blessing that Ayo was to us, her beloved grandchildren.
Ayo was love… in its purest form, without reservation or discrimination. She loved us all through sunny days and rainstorms, across all the seasons, from the days of our birth to the moment she drew her last breath. And even in death, we know she continues to shower us with her love. Hers was a love that wasn’t too loud or too showy. It was in the way she would call our names, even when, in her old age, she would sometimes mix them up or miss them several times before she finally got one. It was in the way she would share her food with us, no matter how little. Her favourite morning ponseh, her pemben for lunch, her dinner and all the snacks in-between. It was in the way she would stay up late when one of us was out and hadn’t returned, or the way she would ask for one she hasn’t seen all day. And as the number of us at home became smaller, it was also in the way her eyes would light up, and her smile shine, as she welcomed anyone who came to visit. Ayo taught us love by loving us and caring for us. It is this love that fills our hearts today, and will guide us to take her through this final phase of our journey together on Earth.
Ayo was light… the very bright one that shone over us, illuminated our paths, and made sure we did not stumble… and even when we did, we would always find a way to rise from our falls. And she would be there, always, to pick us back up, in her quiet, loving way. She was the light that broke through our dark moments, setting an example of strength, resilience, and perseverance. It is this same light that has shone on us over the past week, guiding us, bringing us together and helping us to fulfil her wishes for her send-off.
Ayo was strength and power… in a way women are taught not to be. She defied all odds, raising her children into productive members of society, and teaching them to raise their own children to be even better. Our successes today are a testimony to the hard work and sacrifices she made to give a better life to her family, than she even had for herself. We have seen her toil and labour, in love and without complaint, to put food on the table, send her children to school, provide a place to sleep, seek healing for the sick, and so much more. Through her life, she has taught us the value of hard work, and the quest for a life of dignity. This is the legacy we will carry on, to honour her life and her memory.
Ayo was faith… strong, unshakeable, with solid foundations. She loved the church, and our blessed Mother Mary. Her rosary beads were always with her, and her love for Christ was clear for all to see. She loved God, and encouraged us all to build a relationship with our Creator, regardless of our faith. She embraced us all, Christian and Muslim, and would remind us about the importance of prayer. Mostly, she showed us how to do this, by doing it herself. She always set the example, and it is that faith and our trust in God’s will that cover us today, as we deal with losing her earthly body, and embracing the blessing we have. to be able to pray for her soul.
Ayo was truth… unrelenting, uncompromising. Her love, her light, her strength and her warmth were all built on the foundation of truth. She was never afraid to speak her mind, no matter how hard or uncomfortable the truth. But her truth was kind and considerate. It was never meant to hurt or harm. It was a truth that sought to guide, to correct, to support, and to protect. Ayo lived her truth, and died in her truth, and this is what we will remember.
Ayo was home… for all of us… her children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, neighbours, friends, strangers. Her doors and her heart were open to all, and she treated us all the same, never showing any preference. And in her final years, she was there, often the first one you would see when you open the door. She was always there, always present, always herself, never bothering anyone. She represented home for all of us. When we travel, she made it a point to remind us that we wouldn’t find her here upon our return. But we always did. We would joke about her having a deal with death, and how it kept forgetting her because she always talked about dying. All of our lives, she was always here.
Today, it would be easy to assume that she would no longer be there, but we know she is. Those who have travelled will come back and still meet her. We have been robbed of her physical presence, but Ayo’s spirit remains with us. Her soul remains among us. She is looking down on us, and has brought us all together again in these trying times. She will continue to be with us, as we share our memories, reminisce on the years we shared with her, teasing her, and taking safety in her warmth, her kindness, calmness, love and care. She has always been there. We know she will never leave us. She will always be here. She is here. And we are grateful for the blessing and privilege of being her grandchildren. She was home for us, and now she is home, with our Mam Peru and all those departed.
Ayo! Ataema! Hulembak! Thank you! Thank you for everything! We love you and we will miss you, but we know that we will see you again soon. Until then, enjoy your reunion with your beloved and keep watch over us. Go well.